¡Hola! February is my birthday month, and this post is all about me.
Ufff. That makes me feel VERY uncomfortable.
Usually when I write this blog, I think about you, my lovely invisible readers, and I try to be of service. – What could I say that is useful to you? – That’s why I’ve been postponing sharing this image (made in 2019!), because this illustration is purely me. So fair warning, I'm about to get reflective here (blame the stars... we Pisces are very introspective).
Whenever I meet someone new and say "I'm an illustrator", the usual response is "Wow, such a great profession!". And it is great, but it's also complicated.
When I started working as an illustrator 13 (!!!) years ago, I had an idea of how my career was going to look… Needless to say, I got it all wrong. I thought it would be a clearly-marked, well-paved and brightly-lit road. Instead, I found a barely-there path in the forest, full of twists and turns.
I’ve worked on projects that I did NOT enjoy, and they sold fantastically. I’ve worked on projects that I’m proud of, but they weren’t a huge success. Some had great reviews, others did not. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason. Same with social media, I can’t ever predict what will be liked. Plus, posting my work on Instagram is emotionally confusing and draining.
I’ve dealt with burn-out, life challenges, work disappointments, new priorities… And each time I pause, despair (for a little while), reevaluate, and make adjustments.
That’s exactly where I am now: adjusting.
I have realized how much of my self-worth is linked to my professional success. Each failure and misstep confirmed that I wasn’t good enough. Each success promptly discarded in search of the next goal.
I have also gained a new understanding of WHY I draw and how that has changed over time. – I've got more to say about all of this, but not yet. There is a lot to disentangle... I’m a work in progress.
Progress is okay, though. Transitions are uncomfortable, but I enjoy the challenge. Plus there is something I've been keeping in mind: we were made to change.
And there is something else about change... Shedding parts of yourself that don't serve you anymore allows you to see clearly what remains the same. Just like an illustration going through several rounds of sketches: it may look very different, but it's the same drawing.
I change, but these vignettes are still true. Each day I lean more into the things I enjoy. And I can't wait to talk about all of these things a little more!
In honor of my of my birthday and because this post is heavy, here is some silliness… I'm too shy to post pictures of myself in the water, but I’m going to make an exception with this photo that my 2 year old kid described as: “mama con el pelo mojado” (mom with wet hair).
Yep. That's exactly how I look. Say hi if you ever see me at the beach. ;)
All right... Here. We. Go. Into the unknown!